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Puckering Time

It's now or never.

The word How.

Hey, it’s August, and do you know what it means?

Like, hello. Although we don’t actually feel it, it’s the Buwan ng Wika thing here in the PI. Aren’t you glad about it? You’re so mean (in Poveda school girl tone). The Philippines is so exotic it’s the only country that celebrates the existence of its vernacular language. Isn’t that amazing? We observe this kind of nonsensical event to commemorate the Filipino language. Haven’t heard of any other country that does the same thing – do you actually think the Americans and the Japanese do it?

But since we’re citizens of this country, all we can do is to make the most fun out of it. Yeah, creating something from nothing. Of course it’s a daunting task for it requires the average person to develop either a high sense of humor or probably schizophrenia. But then again, boredom is one of the major reasons why suicidal attempts exist, so we might as well address this problem.

Just how adept and versatile are you? I have this bit of activity for you, dear readers. This is patterned from an activity in UP I fondly remember when I was still a freshman. It boosted the curiosity of all passersby in the AS Lobby. Here is a list of 15 statements that you have to translate in Swahili. No, in English or Filipino, depending on how they are stated. Try anyway.

  • Masarap kumain ng ginataang alupihang dagat at pinaupong manok.
  • Tinitighiyawat ka ba sa mani?
  • Sasampigahin kita!
  • Kung hindi mo ako lulubayan, kukutusan kita.
  • Nanggigigil ako kapag nakikita ko si Apple.
  • Isinga mo iyang sipon mo, huwag mong singhutin pabalik.
  • Iputok mo sa labas.
  • (taken from Giniling Festival’s “Tsong, Boypren Mo Pokpok”) Nakasusulasok, nakaririmarin, nakapanghihilakbot, nakakasuklam.
  • Huwag mo akong binobola.
  • Nakakasuya ang kwek-kwek.
  • My girlfriend is so hot!
  • Her boyfriend dribbles.
  • Your life story is cadaverously beautiful.
  • That jewelry is an affordable luxury.
  • No U Turn.
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At Wed Aug 08, 11:17:00 PM, Anonymous Juice retorts...

Oh noes. I remember Buwan ng Wika back in my college freshmen days. Hahhaha, I dreaded it.

I'm just gonna have fun with this!

1. I love to eat coconuted whatever and a sitting chicken. -LOL!

2. Uhh, peanut?!?!

3. If you don't lulubayin me, I'll kukutusan you.

4. I just wanna crush Apple to pieces when I see her. -seriously!! Hahaha

5. Get rid of your snot, don't suck it back in. ;) -on a roll!

6. Blast it off outside.

7. Nakasusulasok, nakaririmarin, nakapanghihilakbot, nakakasuklam. MAJOR NOSEBLEED RIGHT NOW

8. Don't try to dog me out. -ghetto language y'all.

9. Umm, I feel like having a kwek-kwek?

Oh man, I am soo not proud. I am so the laughingstock.

1. Ang init ng girlfriend ko! -haha that's the literal form.

2. Dumi-dribble boyfriend nya. - ;p

3. Ang storya ng buhay mo ay kay ganda.

4. Ang alahas na yan ay pwede mabili. -hahahahahahahahahah sooo different.

5. Hindi pwede mag u turn.


At Thu Aug 09, 04:14:00 AM, Blogger Jigs retorts...



I can't stop laughing when I read Juice's comments! Crazy!!!


At Thu Aug 09, 03:54:00 PM, Blogger Billycoy retorts...

1. I love eating crawfish guinataan and sitted chicken

2. Are you pimplized with nuts?

3. If you won't move over, I'll karate chop you on the nape.

4. I'm aroused seeing an apple!

5. Blow your mucus, don't swallow it with your nose.

6. Do withdrawal method!


8. Don't play my balls.

9. Queck-Queck is boring.

10. Sobrang init ng juwawhoopers ko.

11. Tumatalbog ang boyfriend niya.

12. Ang kwento ng buhay mo ay magandang bangkay.

13. Ang alahas na yan ay murang luho.

14. wg li2ko u

di ba ang henyo ko?    

At Thu Aug 09, 05:30:00 PM, Anonymous arnel retorts...

matagal tagal ko rin tong pinag isipan ha. LOL.

1. Is nice to eat sea-cultured centipede and seated chicken?

2. Do you have pimples because of nuts?

3. I will sampiga you!

4. If you don't leave me alone, I will you.

5. I get so high when I see Apple.

6. Blow your nose, don't suck the phlegm back.

7. Blow it outside.


9. Don't baller me.

10. Kwek-kwek is disgusting.

11. Ang syota ko ay nag-iinit.

12. Nagddribol ang syota niya.

13. Babangkayin sa ganda ang kwento ng buhay mo.

14. Ang murang mahal naman ng alahas na iyon.

15. Bawal umikot.

Wala man lang tumagas na dugo sa ilong ko. LOL.    

At Thu Aug 09, 07:30:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous retorts...

Fuck, hindi ako makapag-translate! Tawa na lang ako ng tawa dito! Haha!    

At Thu Aug 09, 09:08:00 PM, Anonymous Skye retorts...


I'm going to try this one, but mind you, I suck at Filipino.

1. It's good to dine on crustacean soup and sitting chickens.
2. Do you have a pimple on your balls? - God, that's how I understand the phrase!
3. Excuse me darling, move on over or I'll fucking shoot your damn head with my Paris Hilton perfume!
4. If you don't make lubay me, I'll make kutas you.
5. I get giddy all over when I see Apple.
6. Blow your nose clean, don't snort it back in.
7. Let's do the withdrawal technique. - lol it's the only way I can translate it!
8. Nakasusulasok, nakaririmarin, nakapanghihilakbot, nakakasuklam. - fucking hell, are those real words? Must buy a Tagalog-Enligsh dictionary. NOW.
9. Don't kid around with my balls.
10. kwek kwek sucks.
11. Ang joa ko ay mainit!
12. ang boyfriend niya ay nagdridribol.
13. ang istorya ng buhay mo ay kasing ganda ng patay. - literally...
14. yaang porselas ay abot-kayang mahal. - eh?
15. Bawal ikaw umikot. - technically speaking...    

At Fri Aug 10, 10:08:00 PM, Blogger Mike retorts...

juice, billycoy, arnel, skye: hahahahahahahahaha!

NOTIZIA: I want to know what's on the minds of other people. Keep on posting your translations. Who knows what surprise they may bring. c:    

At Fri Aug 10, 10:16:00 PM, Blogger Jhed retorts...

Okay, so I'm gonna try this one.

1. I love to eat crustacean coconut soup and sitted chicken. Yum!

2. Do you get pimples on your vagina?


4. Leave me alone or I'll do some major pwnage!

5. I sooo want to do crazy things to Apple.

6. Blow your nose, honey. Don't snuff it back in.

7. Pull it out! Ohhh! Pull it out!

8. @Billycoy: May mas malala jan.. JOBERT SUCALDITO! =))

9. Don't play games with me.

10. Those orange quail eggs are sooo yesterday.

11. EHRA MADRIGAL! @_@ / Nag-uumapaw sa kagandahan ang aking nobya!

12. SIMON ATKINS! :p~ / Ang kanyang nobyo ay nagpapatalbog ng bola.

13. Ang buhay mo ay kagandahang pampatay. (???)

14. Ang alahas na iyon ay isang mumurahing kayamanan.

15. Bawal lumiko sa likuang ito.

May Starbucks GC ba ulit sa mananalo? LOL!    

At Fri Aug 10, 10:45:00 PM, Blogger Mike retorts...

jhed: let's see. hihi, c:    

At Mon Aug 13, 03:25:00 PM, Anonymous YNA retorts...

OMG, Mike. I got tears all over my eyes while reading everything! Grabeee. Nasa school pa naman ako, nagmumukha na akong tanga sa kakatawa.

Anyway, I won't try this one. Really! Haha Hindi ko kaya!

But still very funny! Swear!    

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