Puckering Time: Polygonous Orientation of Irony

Polygonous Orientation of Irony

This is Greenbelt.

Is it really the Triangle North of Makati, or Manila? A couple of friends insisted on Manila, and I insisted on Makati. I’m very certain that it really is Makati. They’re very convinced that it really is Manila. I checked Wikipedia, and they defined TriNoma as “blahblahblah of Manila.” But no, I will not be shaken from my belief. No amount of persuasion can reverse my thoughts. It will only steel my resolve, nya ha ha.

Been to TriNoma yesterday with my friend. Since it’s an Ayala mall one may harbor fantasies of hippiness because TriNoma effectively simulates the very ambience of Makati, although habitués of the latter – myself included – may argue that TriNoma is no better than Greenbelt. I realized as I walked towards the grand façade of the mall, I’d rather spend a little more than a hundred bucks to flag a cab and speed to Greenbelt posthaste for there was minimal fulfillment, and definitely no sense of elation. Another friend of mine would attest that TriNoma is the one mall she’ll definitely not frequent. I find her idea a little vague so I immediately launched into Albert Einstein mode – I have to put it to a test.

Because my jeepney-riding friend who was coming from Manila did not materialize on time, I made an attempt to check out what great amenity TriNoma could offer. As far as I’m concerned there were a few things noticeable. For one, those bushes and the curiosity-boosting fountain that prompted the audience to follow the projectile water spewing out jet-fashioned at the façade block the way so efficiently I thought I was entering the wrong way. I proceeded inside the mall premises, passing through the sliding infrared-powered door, and was welcomed by security personnel who insisted on checking my backpack even if I’ve been already scanned. Maybe it was just second-level paranoia, but in any case I just felt like I was in Makati.

The wholeness of TriNoma could be summed up in two words, Taglish: Parang Glorietta. At least that’s from the perspective of other friends having heard their shares of firsts at TriNoma. I have my own way of putting it into comparison: Parang Glorietta, feeling Shangri-La. I assume most of you have sprawled and hanged out at Shangri-La Mandaluyong, and you may have noticed the wide alleys leading to establishments and the confounding flights of escalators that are the very definition of postmodernism, plus the excellent lighting and air conditioning. Combine these features with Glorietta’s, and the resulting concoction is the Triangle North of Makati.

Now I’m a self-confessed coffee addict. In TriNoma there are several coffee shops, and I was so possessed with salivating joy when I found out that there are two Starbucks Coffee outlets: one is at the second floor in front of Shoe Salon, and the other at the fourth floor outside the cinemas, wherein one can get a breathtaking view of walls and Chinese bamboo strewn along what may have been a pool surrounding Starbucks. The latter I find a little more pleasing than the former, being a smoking area, but it’s not at all impressive.

I’m cool with people chilling out, having got nothing to do but to bum around, but may I express my awful disgust at flirting and squirming and uproariously laughing humanoids who have this bit of idea to hang out at Starbucks without even buying their merchandise. Natives, those chairs, tables, and humongous green umbrellas you enjoy are strictly for the consumption of customers, not for the hardcore bystanders. We patrons occasionally are having a hard time finding the one comfortable place to spend the afternoon with our frappuccinos when you flock over in droves, and hey, I saw that! How dare you have the gall to roll your eyeballs at us you fish-smelling athlete’s foot, and don’t pretend you didn’t do it or I’ll stuff your flaking mouth with cigarette butts and ashes.

If you don’t want to experience such horrible levels of abomination, the real Makati is just waiting for you. For us, rather.

Mike allegedly clacked away to post this on Friday, August 03, 2007 at 9:28 PM.

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The Perpetrator

Mike [is a] 19 [year old student of] UP Diliman. [He loves swigging large amounts of] Venti Banana Java Chip [and likes doing] Board works [for] Radio. [He scribbles with a] Pilot VBall [occasionally surfs the WWW with an] iBook G4. [He is ] Not tall. [He loves] Adidas. [He also knows how to] Sleep. [He likes] Nike. [Every Saturday he gets up early to] Jog. [Two of his faved restos are] Gerry's Grill [and] Dencio's. [His favorite subject in high school and college is] Not mathematics. [He reads a lot of] Books [except the Harry Potter series]. [His eyes are aided with a pair of] Levi's eye-g's. [He is] Nice. [He is definitely] Very nice. [He wears] Giordano. [He is taking up] Speech Communication. [At a young age, he is a] Professional insulter. [He likes] The colors white, blue, black. [Beware of] High blood pressure. [He prefers] Mineral water [and] Coke Light. [He likes to] Talk [and] Scream. [He always has this tendency to] Think [deeply, and people have this misguided attempt to call him] Serious. [This is his one and only maintained] Blog. [His name is] Mike. (P.S. Despite photographic evidence, he is most emphatically not ugly.)

What Have You Got?

At Sat Aug 04, 01:47:00 AM,

Jigs retorts...

TriNoMa is certainly nothing special. It's just another place where people can cool themselves off from this heat wave, and just walk around without buying anything.

Oh, and don't get me started with those inconsiderate, Starbucks bums!

At Sat Aug 04, 02:28:00 PM,

Mike retorts...

jigs: the one thing i really like with TriNoma is the excellent airconditioning system. it's like a giant fridge, and i absolutely love it.

those creatures outside Starbucks, if only words can kill, i could've massacred thousands.

At Sat Aug 04, 04:36:00 PM,

Anonymous retorts...

TriNoma. Never been there and I think never will... Unless my friends will tap my shoulder and invite me to go with them. I want to know if there are a lot of students lurking around that place.

Coffee addict here, as well! Teehee. *waves hand*

At Sat Aug 04, 05:23:00 PM,

I like going to TriNoma because I'm so bored hanging out at SM The Block. These are the two malls in Manila nearest to our place.

But you're right about the bystanders at Starbucks near the cinemas. I think they're just college students who like skipping classes. I even saw one trying to look "sosyal" but ended up looking like a hooker, with her very short short pants and stilettos.

What I do is try to arrive there before lunch so I could get my favorite comfortable corner.

At Sat Aug 04, 07:01:00 PM,

dan hellbound: you can try visiting TriNoma, anyway, it's just one ride away from your place and probably from your school. just don't expect too much.

prudence: not just collegiate students, but even high school students. yeah, pa-sosyal lang talaga yung iba. and you can see the difference between the pretentious from the ingenuous.

At Sat Aug 04, 09:53:00 PM,

Charmed One retorts...

i haven't been there, but when i go home for vacation, im sure to make it one of my destinations.

i just have to see it so i can have an opinion.

At Sat Aug 04, 10:39:00 PM,

ang problema ko sa Ayala malls, mahirap guamawa ng cognitive map ng place. kasi pag SM mall, nasa isang hall tapos maaalala mo na kagad yung mga stalls na nandun. madali kang makaka-ikot.

oh well, kung excersice-holic ka, masaya ka sa Ayala malls.

haha. hindi ko maisip yung Parang Glorietta na definition. hindi din kasi ako fan ng Glorietta.

At Sun Aug 05, 12:45:00 AM,

I like the architecture of TriNoMa. :D But I have only been there once when I checked the then unfinished interiors. The design was not as "playful" as ATC if you ask me.

I am not a mall-rat. I only go to malls to buy necessities and to scour the bookstore. That's why The Block's Full Booked and TriNoMa's Powerbooks are reason enough to go and pay them a visit. But I am too lazy LOL

At Sun Aug 05, 01:34:00 PM,

chris cafuir: yeah, and if you've been there, please share what you think of TriNoma, alright?

jod: the only Ayala malls I like are ATC, Glorietta, and Greenbelt. the rest are just blah.

for TriNoma, you just have to imagine yourself in Glorietta. just make the stalls bigger and the alleys wider. and the airconditioning much cooler.

bananaman: well, yes, TriNoma's architecture is great, but there are still things to be improved.

I love ATC. it's like my third home. the second is my school. haha

At Sun Aug 05, 05:52:00 PM,

Unknown retorts...

Yeah! I agree with Jigs. See this related post:
http://kingofchocolates.blogspot.com/2007/06/of-starbucks-and-annoying-high-school.html

Masyado malayo ang Makati for me eh. Pero anyway, hindi naman ako mahilig maghang out sa mga posh malls kung wala rin lang akong pera, haha!

At Mon Aug 06, 04:08:00 PM,

Agree! When I'm in a new mall, I always look for the coffee shops first ;)

I’m cool with people chilling out, having got nothing to do but to bum around, but may I express my awful disgust at flirting and squirming and uproariously laughing humanoids who have this bit of idea to hang out at Starbucks without even buying their merchandise.

HAHAHAHAHA!! AMEN!

At Tue Aug 07, 02:53:00 AM,

Jhed retorts...

Haven't been to TriNoMa yet, but I'm planning to go there one of these days.

Anyway, I am with you with regards to the bystanders. Mga feelingero't feelingera. Sana man lang bumili sila ng isang frappe at mag-share silang lahat dun.

But then again, parang mas mukhang pathetic yun. :))

Oh well. Sana mag-disappear na lang sila dun and *poof* they became Koko Krunch! LOL! [Okay, senseless comment. :P]

At Tue Aug 07, 11:06:00 AM,

Billycoy retorts...

Hindi pa ako nakakapunta dyan, pero parang glorietta nga raw yan. just like market market, pinalaking glorietta.

starbucks 6750 na lang ako tambay, relax pa ang feeling kaysa sa glorietta or greenbelt.

At Tue Aug 07, 07:08:00 PM,

kingofchocolates: may connection naman sa TriNoma and MRT, so it's very accessible. try mo pumunta. it's fun, actually.

juice: yipee! coffee! coffee shops! malls! juice! haha.

jhed: like, hello. hanging out is all they can afford, why are you still expecting them to buy a daily-wage worth of coffee? haha, i'm half kidding. hwahaha.

your comment's not at all senseless. well, i'll go for whatever that makes you happy. hihi.

billycoy: hindi pa ko nadaan sa Starbucks 6750 pero nakikita ko yun pag nasa Music One Glorietta ako. para kasing ang stressful ng lugar na yun, along 6750 na uber busy kasi eh.. sa Starbucks Greenbelt 3 ako talaga natambay pag nasa Makati ako.

At Tue Aug 07, 11:12:00 PM,

Trinoma sucks so much. I'd rather burn gas to reach Makati than spend time at the dumb mall. Mind you, I'm from Caloocan. You do the geography.

Why does it suck?
1. From the first time it opened, it was doomed to fail. Water supply got cut off for around 3 days. So restaurants did not have access to water... even comfort rooms can't be flushed. It was disgusting. The antithesis of Ayala's vision.
2. Having no water means no air conditioner. Don't ask me how the cooling system works, but it requires water to run. The result? A fucking hellish nightmare.
3. A few days prior to the water problem, they suffered from electrical problems, around 2 days as far as I can recall. Again, establishment owners suffer. I go there to enjoy a new mall, and what do I get? A black out.
4. After the water incident, my uncle went back around 3 weeks later. I was still in the Trinoma-phobia phase, so I avoided the place like The Plague. My uncle was the bearer of interesting news that day: "One floor in Trinoma collapsed!" How quaint! No one got hurt because it was in an obscure place in the mall, plus it was only a small section. He described it as a waterfall though, since the water pipes also got damaged in the process.

Since day 1, the mall was doomed. I've interviewed establishment owners and they were sorely disappointed by how Ayala ruined their reputation. It was sick. It was injustice served through a piping hot bong.

Now that the tragedy's over, I still hate Trinoma. Why? The Cinema sucks. The seat gave me neck cramps. Plus, their Lazy-Boy section is located in the same cinema as the regular-priced seats. What a rip off. Gateway's Platinum Cinema is still the best when it comes to comfort.

The mall rats frequenting Trinoma are not what I can consider appropriate. Why? Most of the people are 'poor' Heck, don't call me a socialite of something. But most of what I see are coming from the urban poor who don't even dress the part of a mall-goer. I can accept that, but what I can't forgive is how they act inside the mall. God, one kid with some skin disease even touched my little cousin's huge teddy bear... which we won from Time Zone with the big UFO thing. While we were burning dough to grab the bear, the urban poor crowd pushed and bullied their way to get beside us. Mind you, a lot of people were watching since we were aiming for our THIRD gigantic doll within the hour. That is not what I call good manners. Eventually I shooed them off by saying, "Excuse me, kami ang nagbabayad dito, kaya please lang, wag niyo kaming tulakin, nawawala concentration namin sa laro."

Sorry to rant this long, but I just hate the place. Oh God, don't let me get to the maze of hallways. It's just so hard to find stores in that mall.

How many times did I mention the word 'sucks' anyway? Multiply it by 1000 and that's how many times Trinoma SUCKS.

At Wed Aug 08, 12:04:00 AM,

skye: i therefore conclude that you hate TriNoma with a passion, period. i rest my case hereon.

now that you've mentioned about the impending doom of the mall, which is happening in stages, i'd probably consider having coffee at Katipunan rather than doing so in TriNoma. the fourth floor might collapse at the most inconvenient time.

and you don't have to put quotation marks when you said poor. they're poor, disgusting, have this funky icky smell that sinks in to your bones, and they certainly have no manners. some people might call us mean-hearted; i call this honesty.

At Wed Aug 08, 03:50:00 PM,

Medyo ayos ang pagkakatayo ng TriNoMa (Manila or Makati) since malapit sa Bulacan. Medyo out of place lang talaga.

Nagandahan ako sa mall, and I've got nothing against the mall. So far ah. :D

At Wed Aug 08, 05:05:00 PM,

awww

I haven't been to the mall! And with all these reviews I've been reading.. it really makes me curious. It's either one hates the mall with a passion or adores it with his/her life!

At Wed Aug 08, 08:10:00 PM,

utakgago: well, yeah okay naman ang architectural design, yun nga lang medyo may problema talaga. like MoA, minadali yata ang TriNoma, kaya nagkaroon ng disaster.

starbucks lang habol ko dun eh. c:

cars: you can spare a little time and try going there. you'll be able to prove all the claims here. c: thanks.

At Wed Sep 05, 12:18:00 AM,

Ronnie retorts...

i myself was disappointed seeing trinoma. ayala lands definitely failed on this one (at least for the time being).

the vicinity looks more industrial than commercial. people are so rowdy. parking is confusing.

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