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Puckering Time

It's now or never.


Friend. As that sickening quotation metaphorically puts it, No man is an island – unless, of course, you’re a hermit who has found solace having conversed with Mother Nature, and inhabits the most conducive places for solitary residency, the mountains and the caves. I could always have hysterical conversations with people who I barely have an inkling about and become friends with them, but I could also dismiss them as nothing but purely insignificant creatures. But generally I’m definitely not choosy when this topic arises in the middle of a soul-deadening boredom. But in the interest of fairness, it’s inevitable that we impose certain standards in picking the people who we want to hang-out with. These standards may include some basic stuff in life like common interests, the school of thought we dwell upon, the academic institution we belong to, how thick or thin our wallets are, stuff like that. For this matter I would like to include my favorite standards: attitude and behavior.

These two are basically the same bananas; if I’m not mistaken, the latter is something observable and the former is quite unpredictable. There are certain attitudes and behaviors that are definitely not condonable. But I will digress. Some people find me offensive. I don’t know, it could be due to the words coming out from my mouth. There was an instance that I was with new acquaintances when I kept cussing in front of them not knowing that these people have a bit of sensitivity in the ears. Which explains why the group occasionally fling themselves upon the nearest onrushing car at the sight of my presence. On the other hand, some people find me interesting and amicable (interestingly amicable, amicably interesting). The reason behind this I have no idea, but I never had problems with them.

I have prepared a simple quiz for you, potential chummies, to find out whether you are entitled to a lifetime membership in my Friend(ster)’s list. Answer as honestly as you can.

1. You are at home on a Wednesday. Checking out your to-do list you basically have no pending task to accomplish. Majority of your friends is either at school or has a prior commitment with someone or something else. You will

a) study your lessons and prepare for the next day’s grueling discussion in school.
b) hook up the Mac and fire up Safari to surf (or a PC and Internet Explorer).
c) go to the malls, treat yourself to the finest restaurants, and walk aimlessly until you pass out from sheer loneliness and boredom.
d) sleep and catch very serious z’s.

2. A message materialized in your phone. It’s your ex girlfriend (or boyfriend if you’re a girl or something) inquiring you about your life after that horrible breakup. Her message seems to convey something as if she wants to be with you again. You still feel resentful with her, and suddenly you remember everything she had done against you. You will

a) reconsider her and see if you could still work something out from that murky relationship in the past.
b) reply and tell her that you’re okay, and ask her the same thing.
c) respond but immediately digress the topic to a seemingly more interesting stuff.
d) ignore the message.

3. There’s a beggar in front of you with his arms outstretched asking for alms. You will

a) feel sympathetic and give in to his simple request.
b) blame the government for its obliviousness to poverty and contemplate on being a politician.
c) ask other people to help the poor beggar.
d) roll your eyeballs heavenward and proceed to your destination.

4. You can’t live without

a) food.
b) water.
c) air.
d) sex.

5. If you were to be reincarnated in the next life you would want to be a/an

a) rock.
b) cockroach.
c) amoeba.
d) all of the above.

6. The best artist/band in town that you look forward singing with is

a) Yasmien Kurdi.
b) Willy Revillame.
c) Cueshe.
d) Up dharma Down.

7. Friends declare that smoking is a bad habit. In fact they said that studies show that it is the second placer in the most numerous ways to kill one’s self. You are a smoker. You will

a) consider their scientific litanies and quit smoking.
b) feel guilty and try to stop little by little.
c) encourage them to smoke with you.
d) ignore them and go on with your life – besides it’s your own substance abuse.

8. You are out with your friends on a Thursday night, boozing and swilling beers in a bar. Suddenly you remember that you have a girlfriend, and you haven’t told her about this bit of pleasure trip. You will

a) excuse yourself and go home posthaste before she presents herself at your door.
b) text your girl that you are terribly sorry for not having informed her, and say that you’ll make up for everything on Saturday.
c) tell your girl that you indeed went out with your friends, but will never mention regarding your whereabouts.
d) continue having fun until the wee hours of the morning.

9. Again, you went out with your friends on a Thursday. You were told beforehand that on the next day you will be having an exam in Hyper Calculus. If you don’t go with your peers you will be called a kill joy, and you hate that. You will

a) bring your notes with you and study in the bar.
b) apologize to them and promise that you’ll treat each and everyone a pint of Häagen-Dazs.
c) fabricate an excuse – say, you forgot about the scheduled party at Hard Rock Café – stay home, and drill your notes in your head.
d) go out and have fun, disregarding the fact that you’ll fail the exam if you did not study. After all, nobody will pass the damn test in the first place.

10. You are about to go home. The traffic isn’t so bad and you have a wide array of options of the available means of transportation to ferry you back home. You will take the

a) jeepney.
b) bus.
c) MRT or LRT.
d) cab.

11. You wouldn’t inhale next to

a) an AIDS victim.
b) a person with a very serious case of halitosis.
c) the President of the Philippines.
d) your ex.

12. If you were given the chance to reinforce and/or improve one of your senses, you would choose

a) the sense of hearing.
b) the sense of touch.
c) the sense of sight.
d) common sense.


Answers with their corresponding points will be given on Monday.
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At Fri Jun 08, 10:42:00 PM, Anonymous YNA retorts...

1. B
2. B
3. D (Yes, I'm that cruel)
4. B
5. C
6. D
7. D
8. B
9. C
10. C
11. B (A bit tricky. LOL)
12. D

Wow! Tremendously enjoyed this one! Really.    

At Sat Jun 09, 03:08:00 AM, Blogger utakgago retorts...

1. B (though I consider D as another option)
2. C
3. A (swear, mahilig akong mamigay sa pulubi)
4. B
5. A
6. D (wtf? Cueshe!?)
7. B (hehe)
8. C
9. C (actually, kahit mag-review ako i don't think i'll pass that damn test anyway)
10. A (probinsyano eh)
11. A (and B?)
12. A


At Sat Jun 09, 12:20:00 PM, Anonymous juice retorts...

I love quizzes!

1 D
2 B
3 A
4 all of the above? pwede ba? haha. hmm A :)
5 A
6 D
7 err D. tskts
8 B
9 A hahaha but wont probably get any studying done anyway
10 A to enjoy the cool breeze? well in cebu that's what i do
11 B eww major-turn off
12 D    

At Sat Jun 09, 12:40:00 PM, Blogger Thysz retorts...

1.b) hook up the Mac and fire up Safari to surf (or a PC and Internet Explorer or Mozilla Firefox nyahaha!).

2. d) ignore the message.

3. roll your eyeballs heavenward (in my case skyward na lang) and proceed to your destination.

4. c) air (i need to breathe lit'ly and fig'ly)

5. b) Ameoba (If there is an afterlife that is...)

6. d.) Up dharma Down.

7. a) consider their scientific litanies and quit smoking. (hey second hand smoke will kill my friends too! I wouldn't want to be somebody's indirect murderer! Case in point: Christopher Reeves' wife)

8. c) tell your girl that you indeed went out with your friends, but will never mention regarding your whereabouts.

9. d) go out and have fun, disregarding the fact that you’ll fail the exam if you did not study. After all, nobody will pass the damn test in the first place. ( I hate math and i couldn't pass calculus even if the pope converted to Islam. So i'll party the night away!)

10. c) MRT or LRT. (I love cheap public transpo! And besides, i love to explore and ogle at people)

11. c) the President of the Philippines. (but if i had the chance, id pair the president with that halitosis sufferer)

12. c) the sense of sight. ( i have a very bad case of nearsightedness. i think im legally blind!)    

At Sun Jun 10, 01:32:00 PM, Blogger Jhed retorts...

1. D
2. B (I'm such a loser, I know)
3. D (Walang ignore e. So, pwede na ito)
4. C (Duh! Kung hindi ito kasama sa choices, I'd go for D!)
5. C
6. D
7. C (Haha!)
8. D (I just did this one yesterday. Haha!)
9. D (Woohoooooo!)
10. C
11. B
12. C (Magsama-sama ang mga bulag. Haha!)    

At Sun Jun 10, 01:54:00 PM, Blogger the philosphical bastard retorts...

1. D
2. D
3. A
4. B
5. C [amoeba] so at least it sounds smart.

6. D
7. A [and then D the following day]
8. B
9. D [what the hell is Hyper Calculus]
10. A
11. C
12. C    

At Mon Jun 11, 10:34:00 PM, Anonymous Mich retorts...

1. B
2. C
3. A
4. A
5. A
6. D
7. B
8. B
9. A
10. A
11. C
12. D    

At Tue Jun 12, 02:58:00 PM, Anonymous Agent Grey retorts...

1. B [or C if I have the greens]
2. C [if killing is another choice, i'll do that]
3. D
4. A [I can say D too, unfortunately, there's no partner to do with it]
5. A
6. D [A too and sing "I know..."]
7. C
8. D
9. A (study in the dark! Great!)
10. C
11. B
12. D    

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