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Puckering Time

It's now or never.

Kape Beentah

I think I just had an overdose of caffeine. I have this overwhelming belief that I just did.

Early this morning I had this misguided attempt to prepare my own coffee. As I have mentioned in previous posts my day wouldn’t be complete without the said beverage, and whenever I’m deprived of the substance I freak out. I know I’m a freak to begin with, and I don’t need somebody to assert that point, but I’m in this weird state okay? A while ago it’s a bit different. No one made coffee for me (and the rest of the human population inside our house), but for some reason or so I didn’t go ballistic. Weird, but I was there.

And so I went straight to the cupboard to make coffee, but for one thing: I have got no master’s degree, not even an undergraduate diploma, for coffee making. I have no problem with self confidence and I take pride in saying that I’m an expert – and a fine one to talk to – when coffee is concerned, but the catch is that I don’t know how to make it, not even for myself. I usually rely on someone for my caffeine fix; all I know is to swig and consume vast amounts of coffee. Anyway, there I was, staring blankly onto the canisters inside the cupboard, figuring out the shit I have to undergo. I remembered having observed my mom preparing coffee for me when I visited her at her office. She ceremoniously took one teaspoon of the brown-black substance, one teaspoon of creamer, and two blocks of sugar. Then she proceeded to yank the thermos plunger for hot water, mixed the concoction vigorously, and coffee was served. I took a sip and chimes began ringing inside my head. The coffee my mom made for me was so great I tried to make one for myself. I had made wrong decisions and had done stupid things in my life, and this was far much worse than anything else. Instead of chimes and bells, I heard rumbling noises like a stampede of animals in that movie Jumanji. Instead of going straight to my gullet, I bid farewell to the coffee I’ve made and watched it swirl down the sink.

I have strayed from my original topic which is my intoxication from coffee. So I was in front of the cupboard then. I tried to imitate what my mom did. I tried anyway, and the results were unbelievable. I just have to believe in myself that I could accomplish such a daunting task. And because I was amazed with my hidden talent, I went to grab a mug as large as a pitcher and proceeded to fill it halfway with the mixture, employing mathematical procedures in the process, involving the use of proportions and some lessons on physics. For a 500-ml mug, put at least two and a half teaspoonful of coffee (Nescafe Gold is much preferred), two teaspoons of creamer, and five to six sugar blocks (since we don’t have the loose variety). I finished everything, but of course not in just one sipping or I’ll drown. Then after 15 minutes or so, I started to feel unusually below par.

It is said that people should consume more or less than three to four cups of coffee a day. I’m not good in approximation, but I’ve guzzled around half a liter of coffee. Caffeine is supposed to alleviate the alertness level of a person and to relieve headaches and is a great help whenever one had a terrible hangover from last night’s drinking session. But large amounts might lead to a much more terrible not to mention annoying headache and digestive tract problems, plus extreme nervousness and loss of sleep. In my case, it’s quite different. You know the feeling of paranoia, as if somebody’s watching over your back like some driveling maniac is about to launch and stab you with a Japanese cleaver? The feeling of uneasiness? The strange panic-stricken feeling accompanied by palpitations and shortness of breath? Put yourself in those situations and you are me. I’m not kidding. I tried to lie down on my bed but it got worse – I feel like I’m going to drown in a waterless surrounding. As if I’ve taken marijuana or something, although I haven’t actually tried sniveling marijuana; my Christian Living teacher told me so when you’re under the influence of hemp.

I’ve already experienced this beforehand. Since I basically got nothing to do I went to Starbucks with friends at the Town. They had Grande Mocha Frappuccinos (I don’t know what’s with Mocha Frap that most people regard it as their ultimate favorite, quote-unquote), and I had a Venti Java Chip. And because man is naturally insatiable we got another serving of the same sizes. After we made rounds inside the mall – and since funds were already running low – I dragged them to have pearl shakes at Zagu, regular caffe latte (We are not a bunch of coffee addicts). By the time I got home, I started to feel the same thing as stated in the previous paragraph. It was so horrifying, and the feeling was awful. But after an hour or so it subsided instantly as if I was just making excuses not to help in house chores, ha ha.

I don’t know if I’m the only one who gets to experience such a horrendous – but exciting, what can I say – moment with coffee. I get to come across in this state quite rarely, so maybe I could do it again tomorrow.
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At Fri May 25, 01:34:00 AM, Blogger Jhed retorts...

OMG! ADIK! Haha!


I'm not much of a coffee fan and I don't like Mocha Frap. One strawberry frap please! LOL.    

At Fri May 25, 03:43:00 PM, Anonymous Agent Grey retorts...

I am used to be a coffee fan too. But I was not a coffeeholic. I do get hyped after a dose of caffeine and been constantly irritable before. Whenever I passed a day without coffee, my head would be berserking, tremendous migraine, a coffee withdrawal symptoms.

So now, I opt for skim milk!    

At Sat May 26, 10:33:00 AM, Blogger Mike retorts...

jhed: OMG. At last, someone I knew who doesn't like Mocha Frap. I used to order Rhumba Frap when it was still around. Now it has been replaced by Java Chip, and still tastes great, without the humongous cookie chunks, that is. Haha.

Try the Banana Java Chip. Heavenly.

agent grey: I always get irritated for no reason, and i think this is one of those evil effects of coffee.

Skimmed milk. Hmmm. Sounds like Yakult for me. Haha.    

At Sun May 27, 12:16:00 AM, Blogger Jhed retorts...

I hate anything that has "banana" in it. Haha!    

At Mon May 28, 04:01:00 AM, Anonymous juice retorts...

I'm a coffee person too, but not as much as you I guess heheh :P

And I don't drink coffee other than from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf now. Dunno why, even Starbs is just for tea. Hahaha.    

At Mon May 28, 07:26:00 PM, Blogger Mike retorts...

jhed: sinungaling! wahahahaha!

juice: coffee bean staff at the ATC (Alabang Town Center) are quite irascible that's why i never stray too near the place. Starbucks is my second home, i think. haha.    

At Sun Jun 03, 08:00:00 PM, Blogger Nao retorts...

I get caffeine high too xD    

At Mon Jun 04, 09:05:00 PM, Blogger Thysz retorts...

Just last year lang akong natutong uminom ng kape (coz of work! I need to be awake!). And mind you Starbucks coffee and una kong ininom. And sadly yun na ang naging benchmark ko sa pag-pili ng masarap na kape. So goodbye Nescafe or any instant coffee for that matter, i'll only drink coffee if its starbucks! Yun na!    

At Wed Jun 06, 11:16:00 PM, Blogger Mike retorts...

nao: as high as I do to the point of an OD? haha.

thysz: hui, okay pa rin naman ang instant coffee. Nescafe Gold kasi try mo. or kung starbucks talaga, Cafe Vinta. ewan ko lang kung meron pa nito. you brew it, btw.    

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