Being myself, perhaps.
My mind was not in a very terrific shape a few days ago – I might have left parts of it somewhere during the course of our spontaneous traveling to different itineraries, or maybe I have misplaced a figment of my pink runny organ in someone else’s pockets. I also feel slightly disoriented, having been exposed to different levels of boredom that led me to engage myself and another human being of the opposite gender to a life-altering genetic experiment which was haphazardly intended only for sheer fun and excitement. Our once happy unadulterated selves led to an almost schizophrenic degree of paranoia when she just recently announced to me that she got delayed for almost three weeks, upon which I bullied inside the nearest Watson’s outlet to get her pregnancy test.
And so I continue to breathe deeply. Never in my life have I felt so thankful that I was still given the chance to inhale the noxious gases of Edsa because if everything went out of our ways, both of us would’ve been dead now, figuratively and probably in a literal sense. But since the two of us managed to get ourselves out of the trouble we gratefully hatched in the first place, everything is back to normal. Moral lesson: Never, ever employ fussiness when latex is concerned.
I was tagged by Vinch way, way during the Pre Cambrian Time to do this meme. Democratically speaking, giving out counterexamples is not my thing, but since I want to do something entirely different - and because I badly need a break – I decided to share weird stuff about myself. At least I know it was me. I was asked to do six, but I’d be giving out seven.
1. I would be the last person on Earth to eat lychee. I’ve had a horrible experience with the vile fruit, and it still follows me around like some idiotic sales person. Lychee for me is the equivalent of durian for some, and ampalaya for the entire human race.
2. On the average, it takes me at least three hours to buy just one pair of frigging shoes. The longest time I consumed was five, which took a lot of shuffling from three different malls because I am very particular with quality and performance. And my close friends have vowed not to accompany me for obvious reasons.
3. I incessantly nibble my fingernails. I don’t know, I’ve been doing it since I was a kid, and the knowledge of it being unhygienic doesn’t stop me from gnawing my nails until I get to feel a tingling pain. Call it an obsessive-compulsive condition.
4. My favorite cartoon character is Squidward Tentacles from SpongeBob Squarepants. His vocabulary is intense and broad plus he’s frigging sarcastic. Kind of reflects my own personality. Kind of.
5. In relation to number 4, my favorite human being is former Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago. Whenever she gets featured on TV I leave everything I’m working on and hook myself up on the screen. She may have this profound look that suggests dementia, or at the very least a mild case of constipation, but she’s the model figure I look upon because she rattles off words and quotable quotes very impressively, and I rest my case for that matter.
6. I don’t know how to carry a baby. My cousins have been attempting to encourage me to try holding cute wittle coo-coos but they always fail. I feel so nervous whenever I have this urge to carry a baby; I fear that they’d slip from my arms and drop dead on the concrete. My mom once offered to give me free baby-holding lessons with my cousin’s baby. She said I will just have to grab the butt and clutch the baby in his/her arms into my arms close to my chest. I took one look and declined.
7. I’m not a Harry Potter fan. As a matter of fact, I haven’t read any of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter book series, much less the movie versions. Firstly, my attention span is very short. Secondly, I hate reading books which are a kilometer thick. Thirdly, everyone’s reportedly chummy with Rowling and Harry Potter, and I have this weird compulsion not to be like everybody else. Fourthly, I haven’t got much time to enter movie houses recently because I have got no spare time to do so. And fifthly, I just don’t like Harry Potter because a) some idiot proclaims that I look like him on the grounds that we both wear eyeglasses which makes it the shallowest of all possible means of comparison, and b) I don’t like him for simply being Harry Potter, period.
I could’ve added 8. Being myself, but I think I would be stating the obvious.