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Puckering Time

It's now or never.

In loving memory of Starbucks

Late this afternoon I went as far as Makati to spend quiet time with myself. I have been celibate for eight months, which is very good. Eight straight months with no one putting a dog collar on my neck and hauling me inside designer pads and window shop for all eternity. Eight months without the yielding voice that constantly tells me to be kind to others because I am such a horrifying irascible being. Eight months with no one to sleep with and lull me to a deep slumber on that cute colorful bed with at least 12 pillows surrounding me. And eight straight months devoid of someone having soft cuddly hands for me to pinch and tickle, a lengthy brownish black crowning glory for me to spend a fortune on hair spas and treatments at David’s, and the list goes on. So much for those lovely days, I’m actually doing A-Okay. With this Grande Iced Café Mocha, a slab of Oreo Cheesecake, and a good book, I think I’ve already found another one.

From the eternal madness of EDSA Starbucks Greenbelt 3 is the place to be especially if you’re feeling a little antisocial for a moment. Of course there is always the scene where some inconsiderate lout screams amidst the peaceful atmosphere because she finally got to embrace the new Starbucks Coffee 2007 Planner, but nobody gives a hoot since almost everyone within a half-kilometer radius of the place owns the same planner. I have something about this Starbucks planner. Judging from its bulk it sure looks pretty good, and adding up to the exquisiteness are the fine prints on the leaves and the black leather case. The 2006 edition sure looked very anemic with the introduction of this new one. But hold it. You can’t just easily buy this luxury item.

Last year’s mechanics were the same as with this year’s. The Spark of Hope program of Starbucks Coffee helps the less fortunate children from icky slums by sharing a part from that Venti Non-fat White Choco Mocha you’re drinking. Every time you buy a beverage regardless its size and type (with the exception of fruit juices and water because the latter is for free) you are given a stub for which you have to complete 21 stickers, 12 of which are regular drinks and 9 special ones which are only offered during the holiday season. After your 21st sticker you can have your stub signed by a barista, fill up a small info sheet provided in the stub, and you can finally have the planner.

You think it’s simple. I don’t. Let’s say each beverage costs an average of P150 and is equivalent to one sticker. And since you need 21 stickers, you can think of every technique to complete the stub in the soonest possible time. Either you can treat yourself with 21 different kinds of frappuccinos, or you can opt to be a Good Samaritan and offer the other 20 to your friends or to whoever shares the same passion as you are. So that’s 1…5…0 multiplied by, uhh, 21. There. A whopping P3,150. Three grands for a planner. Isn’t that too clever. Last year I was hooked in filling up my red sticker stub and I was almost on my way to achieving Nirvana – 15 stickers! – when I lost my stub somewhere in Pluto. I thought I was going to have a seizure, and I hoped all my body hair would curl and wither. Then I realized that I was not destined to own that Starbucks planner, that I am predestined for something much better than recycled paper. And I still don’t eat junk foods.

She hasn’t materialized until now. For the meantime, I’ll have to erase from my head that awful memory of… Have to do the impression of my ancient laptop.

“Dumping physical memory…”
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© 2007 Puckering Time | It's now or never by Mike.
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